I am grateful for…
- the extra hours & money I am making today
- the letter my little sister wrote me
- my typewriter
Today, I choose point 1: the extra hours & money I am making today:
I am on this journey in the hopes of rewiring my brain for happiness.
I am a person living with depression. It sucks. Like a lot. Most days I just fumble the ball. I met a girl months ago. We had a lot of fun. I haven’t called in weeks because I am so anxious at the prospect of explaining why I haven’t called in weeks. Catch-22. It missed him by inches. The point is, I can’t think of a better way to explain this to anyone than what happened today.
I received an email from my boss. We had a cancellation at the front desk. Happens all the time. Can anybody come in
Any amount of time. We just need somebody. Who is available?
I am. I was. I was available.
I want to be that guy. You know? The guy who fixes things, who solves problems, who helps people.
I felt happy that I could help. And then I was almost immediately upset.
Because I couldn’t stay for the full 7 hours. I had errands to run. So I mean, I could stay, but I wanted to honor my schedule (another practice in happiness for the mentally ill). So I thought:
Well, then I’m making $30 instead of $70.
$30 < &70, which is worse because it is less. $30-$70= -$40
In my mind I was losing $40 as opposed to the truth:
I helped out. I stepped up, I stepped in, I immediately called my boss, let them know that I could work for a few hours, but would have to leave in a bit.
I made $30!
I do not live in scarcity and want, but a world of plenty and happy.
So thank you whoever you are, reading this.