This is an original piece written today Jan. 20th

This is an original piece written today.
January Twentieth.

I am an Unoriginal by Miles Boucher.
I am an Unoriginal by Miles Boucher.
“I am an Unoriginal by Miles Boucher.”

Everything that follows this statement is mostly true. I swear.
If there is a way to carbon date this you could check.
But, don’t check.
It’s my journal.

It’s all so theatrical now.

(fixes glasses)

The Lights,
The Sounds,
The Churches,
The Politics.

This is a selection from President Elect Donald J. Trump’s Speech.
January Twentieth, Two Thousand Seventeen, Twelve Oh One P.M.
It’s true. I swear.

(turns page)

We John Cade, so tearmed of our supposed Father.

For our enemies shall faile before us, inspired with the spirit of putting down Kings and Princes. Command Silence.

My Father was a Mortimer.
My Mother a Plantagenet.
My wife descended of the Lacies.
Therefore am I of an honorable house.

Valiant I am.
I am able to endure much.
I fear neither sword, nor fire.
Be brave then, for your Captaine is Brave, and Vows Reformation.

(turns page).

There shall be in England seven half penny loaves sold for a penny: the three hooped pot shall have ten hoopes, and I will make it a felony to drink small Beer.

All the Realm shall be in Common, and in Cheapside shall my Palfrey go to grasse: and when I am King, as King I will be.

I thank you good people.

There shall be no money, all shall eat and drink on my score, and I will apparel them all in one Livery, that they may agree like Brothers, and worship me, their Lord.

The first thing we do, let’s kill all the Lawyers.

(turns page)

Is not a lamentable thing, that of the skin of an innocent Lambe should be made Parchment, that Parchment being scribbled o’er, should undo a man.

Some say the Bee stings, but I say ’tis the Bee’s wax: for I did but seal once to a thing, and I was never mine own man since.

(turns page)

Now, some of you might suspect that I am lying.
And some of you…would be right.
But, I’m no longer sure which are which.
So I googled it.

Inevitably I end up on Youtube.
The Comment Section.
(Oh,) have you heard of it?

In nonsensical order:

“Get off the Stage! Be respectful.
Stop disrespecting.
Give him a chance.
What do you expect?!

Bigot! Racist.
Sexist. Rapist.
Go ahead and die.
You should be raped.
You should die.
Deleted. Deleted.


It’s true. I swear.

(Exit Stage)


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