This is an original piece written today.
I am an Unoriginal by Miles Boucher.
“I am an Unoriginal by Miles Boucher.“
“I am an Unoriginal by Miles Boucher.”
Everything that follows this statement is mostly true. I swear.
If there is a way to carbon date this you could check.
But, don’t check.
It’s my journal.
It’s all so theatrical now.
This is a selection from President Elect Donald J. Trump’s Speech.
January Twentieth, Two Thousand Seventeen, Twelve Oh One P.M.
It’s true. I swear.
We John Cade, so tearmed of our supposed Father.
For our enemies shall faile before us, inspired with the spirit of putting down Kings and Princes. Command Silence.
My Father was a Mortimer.
My Mother a Plantagenet.
My wife descended of the Lacies.
Therefore am I of an honorable house.
Valiant I am.
I am able to endure much.
I fear neither sword, nor fire.
Be brave then, for your Captaine is Brave, and Vows Reformation.
There shall be in England seven half penny loaves sold for a penny: the three hooped pot shall have ten hoopes, and I will make it a felony to drink small Beer.
All the Realm shall be in Common, and in Cheapside shall my Palfrey go to grasse: and when I am King, as King I will be.
I thank you good people.
There shall be no money, all shall eat and drink on my score, and I will apparel them all in one Livery, that they may agree like Brothers, and worship me, their Lord.
The first thing we do, let’s kill all the Lawyers.
Is not a lamentable thing, that of the skin of an innocent Lambe should be made Parchment, that Parchment being scribbled o’er, should undo a man.
Some say the Bee stings, but I say ’tis the Bee’s wax: for I did but seal once to a thing, and I was never mine own man since.
Now, some of you might suspect that I am lying.
And some of you…would be right.
But, I’m no longer sure which are which.
So I googled it.
Inevitably I end up on Youtube.
The Comment Section.
(Oh,) have you heard of it?
In nonsensical order:
“Get off the Stage! Be respectful.
Give him a chance.
What do you expect?!
Go ahead and die.
You should be raped.
You should die.
It’s true. I swear.