Let me tell you about Christmas:
Nobody gets Christmas like I do.
See, Christmas, is wholly and completely consumed by capitalism.
See, back in the way back when, we had this little thing called “Sol Invictus” or “Saturnalius” depending on whether your gods wore togas or drank mead from skulls. Anyway, it was all about the long cold winters and the fear, the very real fear that everything would die in the dark and in the cold without the light of the sun.
Because every year, people didn’t know if the sun was coming back or not.
So on December Twenty-Five , the longest and coldest day of the year, everyone would huddle around, cut boughs off evergreens, bring them inside, and pray that the sun would return.
They didn’t know better. They didn’t know that the shortest day of the year was actually the Twenty-First and that the length of the day is based on the earth’s orbit around the sun in relation to its axis.
So, basically idiots. But, …well meaning idiots.
Nevertheless, “Christmas” was all about love and warmth and kindness, right? Wrong. It was about keeping out the cold. It was about when is the sun gonna come back?
Well, we know better today don’t we? We’re so smart that we know better, don’t we? We know the sun will return. Because we’re not idiot like them, right?
See, nowadays we have to keep the spirit alive. Because we worship the dollar. The big, fat King Dollar Bill. And He is a fickle god isn’t He? We don’t know if He will ever come back do we? Do we? No no no no no noooooooooo….
So what do we do? What do we do? We buy presents. We buy tinsel. And lights. And stockings. And stocking stuffers. And trees, because weren’t those other idiots quaint back in the olden days?
And here we are, hiding in our homes, trying to keep out the starving, the destitute, the poor…
Just buying presents to prove that we can, buying presents to prove that we’re not like them, buying presents hoping that one day we won’t have this fear inside of us.
Guess what? It’ll pass. Someday, we’ll figure out the laws of economics just like we figured out the laws of astronomy.
And then we’ll move on to something new. Something else to keep out the cold.
But, til then, you’ve got me.
I am the cold, the hungry, and the poor.
I am the forgotten, the lonely, the destitute…
I’m the Grinch.